Unraveling Your Purpose
Have you ever felt completely lost and unsure about where you were in life and where you were heading? Or maybe you’ve felt unfulfilled despite your external achievements and success, a void that leaves life feeling purposeless.
I remember there came a point when I felt a deep and lingering dissatisfaction. The high of finally graduating with a master's degree faded, and life started to life me pretty hard.
From about the age of 22 to 30ish, I was in “on” mode. Always going, having (or needing) something to do or somewhere to be.
That timeframe was also some of the best days of my life, as I traveled and lived abroad extensively, and pursued my college degree in different states, allowing me to live in new places.
I felt like I was on top of the world, but what I didn’t realize was that I was suffering from authenticity confusion- not knowing who I truly was or what I wanted in life.
I lacked purpose and felt directionless and unsure about life's meaning. I felt confused about what my values and desires were. Yes, I was off romping around the world, having mind-blowing experiences, but I was simultaneously running away from myself.
Eventually, the outside noise faded, and the time had come to face the things that kept me stuck and unfulfilled.
Everything in your life—your relationships, your happiness, your sense of purpose—stems from your level of reflective awareness.
I have been diligently harnessing the potency of my reflection practice in all areas of my life for the last 10 years.
It’s been one of the primary tools that has helped me clarify my values, reignite my sense of purpose, and create a life that’s truly aligned with what I desire.
During this phase of feeling uncertain about the direction I wanted to go with my career and life, I was invited to join a women’s circle where women prioritized their personal growth journeys.
Sitting in an intimate space like this, week after week, where I could reflect upon and share stories about my life, is where I learned to harness the art of reflection.
I learned that these big life transitions were actually normal and that I wasn’t alone in them.
Entering this phase of slowing down and prioritizing my personal growth was necessary for me to look within, to renew my vision, to grow, and to evolve my purpose.
The Toltec tradition, rooted in ancient Mesoamerican spiritual wisdom, teaches that each of us has a unique purpose, or "personal dream," to fulfill in this lifetime.
In Toltec philosophy, we are all artists of our own lives, and our purpose is to create a reality that aligns with our authentic selves.
Purpose is not something external that we must seek but rather an inner truth waiting to be remembered.
The Toltecs believed we are born into the "Dream of the Planet," a collective reality shaped by human agreements, beliefs, and illusions. Many of these inherited agreements create self-doubt, fear, and a sense of separation from our true essence.
Connecting with our purpose requires breaking free from these illusions and returning to our "personal dream," which is our unique expression of life.
This is where having a solid reflection practice comes into play. As you develop one, you’ll start to see yourself more clearly and understand the spectrum of your emotions and how they impact everything in your life.
Slowly, you’ll gain more clarity around your major hindering patterns, and you’ll start the bigger work of building more fulfilling and healthy habits.
When you understand your triggers, fears, strengths, and desires, you can make choices that align with who you are.
Because we live in a world that’s go-go-go and constantly drives us to be doing and achieving, it can be hard to give ourselves permission to slow down, look inwards, and discover what it is we truly desire in our lives.
I believe one of the most important decisions you can make is to choose to come into harmony with your own life's purpose rather than keeping up with everyone else and following an unfulfilling path.
Below, I invite you to explore 6 strategies, some rooted in Toltec Wisdom, that I’ve used (and continue to use) to guide me in reigniting my purpose and sense of life direction when I feel lost or confused:
Write your heart out~ Literally. Write freely about the surreal, the odd, the memorable, the exotic you only dare dream about.
Writing helps you start to understand the language of your inner world. An emotion crystallizes. A deep understanding clarifies. Your heart perks up again like the sunrise.
Writing always takes you somewhere. Not every trip is extravagant or a luxury destination, but tracking how you’re feeling daily will help you strengthen your awareness muscles, and you’ll start to catch on to recurring themes, patterns, and areas of dissatisfaction that can reveal insights about your purpose.
Here are 3 prompts you can use to get you into a deeper writing flow:
Does my life inspire me and make me feel expansive?
Am I making choices that challenge me to grow and evolve in new ways?
What lights me up?
If I could describe a perfect day from my childhood, what would it be?
Whispers from nature~ Spend time in nature, in solitude without distractions. In a world filled with constant stimulation, moments of intentional silence can be difficult to cultivate but are profoundly transformative.
Spend time in natural settings—whether it's the forest, mountains, rivers, or deserts—to quiet the mind and attune yourself to the rhythms of life.
Observe the way a river flows effortlessly, adapting to obstacles yet never losing its course. Notice how the moon rises each night without hesitation, fulfilling its role without doubt.
When you immerse yourself in nature, allow your intuition to guide your attention. Pay attention to signs and synchronicities—perhaps a bird crosses your path during a pivotal thought, or the wind stirs as you ask an important question.
The Toltecs believed that nature speaks to those who listen. Keep a journal to reflect on your experiences and insights, and trust that the wisdom you receive is meant to illuminate your path.
Aliveness~ No wild dream is a moonshot idea away. When was the last time you explored a new activity, cause, or interest that made you feel alive? Aliveness is one of our greatest medicines, and feeling this is extremely underrated.
When being in survival mode is all we’ve known, or even if we’ve been in a season of chronic stress, reconnecting to our aliveness is an important step. Those dreams, those adventures, those moments that make you feel alive communicate clarity and guidance that can put you back on track with leading a more fulfilling life.
So whether its that concert you’ve been wanting to go to, that drive through the mountains you love, the dance class you’ve been eyeing, the scuba diving certification you’ve been thinking about, the trip you’ve been dreaming about, the book you’ve been wanting to write, let yourself explore it.
The key here is that you never stop doing what feels remotely like hope, never stop staying curious, and never stop giving yourself opportunities to feel alive.
Identify your strengths~ This next one might be a harder one to do for some (it was for me), but it's one of the most powerful strategies yet.
I invite you to connect with at least 10 people you know and ask them this question: What are my three best qualities? You can expand this further by asking these people what it is they look to you for support or where they see you offering substantial value to others.
Once the answers start pouring in, identify the common threads, i.e., the things people are saying constantly, and write them down.
Recognizing these patterns helps you gain insight into your natural abilities and strengths—things that may come so easily to you that you don’t even realize their significance.
Reflect on how these strengths have played a role in your past achievements and how you can leverage them to create impact moving forward. Your strengths are often directly connected to your purpose, serving as a guiding light toward work, relationships, and activities that feel most meaningful to you.
Read inspiring books & stories~ Engaging with stories of people who have discovered a sense of purpose and learning from their journeys can offer valuable insights and motivation.
Reading about the struggles and triumphs of others can help you see new possibilities and remind you that purpose is often discovered through challenges and perseverance.
Some of my favorite books are:
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz outlines the four foundational principles: Be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions, and always do your best as a way to clear mental and emotional clutter, allowing you to see your purpose more clearly.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho explores the journey of self-discovery and offers a bedrock of wisdom about following one’s heart.
The Surrender Experiment by Michael A. Singer delves into finding purpose in life by letting go of our personal preferences and simply letting life call the shots.
The Hero’s Journey by Joseph Campbell offers a mythological and marvelous realm of imagination and inspiration that can guide you in shaping your life.
Dreaming consciously~ The Toltecs viewed life as a dream that we can shape with awareness. Just as we influence our waking reality, we can also engage with our dreams as a source of insight and transformation.
Before bed, set an intention to receive guidance about your purpose. You might ask yourself, "What message do my dreams have for me?" or "What steps should I take toward my true path?"
Keep a dream journal by your bedside to record any symbols, emotions, or recurring themes upon waking. Over time, patterns may emerge that offer profound insights into your life’s direction.
Reconnecting with your purpose is an ongoing journey that requires your patience and consistency, and is a foundational step in your reflection journey.
Amongst everything, I hope you’ll find the courage to create space to align with what truly matters, make intentional choices, and cultivate a deeper sense of fulfillment.
Your purpose is already within you- self-reflection is simply a key to unlocking it.
Stay Reflective,
Errika